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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.