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So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.