Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
My own personal hell sounds great, actually
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.