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The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
i feel naked without my mobile !
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?