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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better. Well…for me anyway.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Velcro is a ripoff
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape