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I wish I had a friend like me
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.