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I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
really vry funny
This post is just for you.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.