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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
The fox says you need to stop.
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
I’m in no shape to exercise.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.