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Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
TEIAM - problem solved
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues
I may be asking too much of this coffee.