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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Vodka is just amazing water.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.