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I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn`t cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
Iām going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people Iām going to haunt grows everyday.