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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
Clapping: Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else`s accomplishments.
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.