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Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!