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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
For Valentine`s Day my wife wanted to.... well, you know. It started with her handcuffing me to the bed. And for three solid hours she watched whatever she wanted on television
whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.