Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.