Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Elderly people used to always nudge me at weddings and say "You`re next."What got them to stop is when............I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
You know what`s wrong with winning a hundred thousand dollars? ... Not a damn thing!
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?