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I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
I want my next girl to be crazy but more "Lets have sex in public" crazy rather than "I throw hot coffee in your face" crazy.
My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.