Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
Excuse me sir, where do you keep the "Whoomp"? Oh, there it is.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?