Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
Cashiers are always checking me out.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data