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what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
I still sing my ABC’s to see which letter comes first.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.