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Nothing shuts my pie hole more than an actual pie.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
My favorite beer is an open one.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.