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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
Guy tip of the day: To avoid arguments about the toilet seat, use the sink...
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.