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Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
I`m astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.