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Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.