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You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
You know you`re getting old when Happy Hour is a nap.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....