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Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Don’t mix it up this year!
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Is there another word for synonym?
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?