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You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
BREAKING NEWS: New $100 bills start circulating yesterday. I wish this affected my life in any way.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.