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My favorite Facebook photo of your baby is easily #28,614
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
i feel naked without my mobile !
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
The well behaved rarely make history.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.