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I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
I was thinking about selling my old phone but I think it knows too much.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Velcro is a ripoff
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.