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For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of