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9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.