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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
The first sign of laziness:
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.