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Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.