Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.