Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
Most kids today wont understand the joy of playing with the telephone cord.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.
You had me at 0 mutual friends