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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
I can always tell when I`m drunk. I tend to drop things...like my standards