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never be afraid to wipe twice
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
This patience thing takes forever.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
The early bird needs a punch in the throat.