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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
I was thinking about selling my old phone but I think it knows too much.
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
facebooked yo mama!!!
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....