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Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)