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Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.