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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav