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I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat