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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.