Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
real eyes realize real lies
I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.