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Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR
Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.