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If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy