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It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.