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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone