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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
bras are booby-traps
I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.