Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
Honk if you are reading this.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
AWESOME!
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.