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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?