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All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
My favorite beer is the next one.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.