Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.