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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.