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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
Shoutout to my parents for not wearing a condom and creating the most awesome person alive.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
“Knock him out.” – Mama
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.