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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
A wise man, will often say nothing
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Mondays should start at noon.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
I don`t gamble. I don’t drink. My one vice is my iPhone. Well, that and lying about drinking and gambling.