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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
I sleep better naked…why can’t the flight attendant understand this?
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
That moment when you realize the object of #WeightWatchers is NOT see who can score the most points...
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.