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Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"