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Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.