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Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan....
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.