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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
Being alive is so expensive.