Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.